Surrogacy Sabbatical

The past year has been a roller coaster of more downs than ups, when it comes to surrogacy.

Since my idiotic, doctor-induced miscarriage, I've been waiting for seven weeks for my cycles to come back, but after a full year on meds almost constantly, followed by the confusion of an aborted pregnancy, my body seems to be in revolt.

The RE wants me to take a break from the process, to let my body recover. My guys feel they're not getting any younger, and they want a big family. Those things considered, they have decided to begin the process of searching for a new surrogate.

While my heart is broken to not have been able to give them this gift, I know this is the best decision for us all. While it would be easy to feel I am being replaced, the truth is that there will probably be opportunities for us to try again in the future.

But I'm alternating between tears and relief at having a bit of resolution. For now, I'm out of limbo. For now, I'm off the rollercoaster. For now, I have closure.

I'm going to go get that tattoo I've been eyeing, and try to figure out what to do with my life.

©2012 All Rights Reserved